So, I know I poked a little fun at obsessive “Lost” fans last week, but the addictive powers of the show are taking over me now. I dreamt about theories a few days ago, and I can’t stop talking about the show with my mom, who talks about the show with her co-workers. It has infiltrated my life.

With all that is going on in the world (wars, taxes, elections, etc.) my biggest question, the thing that keeps me awake at night, is this: whose funeral does Jack attend during the flash forward in the third season finale?

Well, my fellow scholars and I have come up with a few possibilities. But first, some background information. The name of the funeral home is “Hoffs/ Drawlar”, which everyone knows is an anagram for “flash forward”. Nobody showed up to the funeral before Jack. Also, when the funeral director asks Jack his relationship with the deceased (friend or family), Jack says the person is neither, but he is noticeably upset by the death. Lastly, thanks to some insanely tech-savvy fans, we have screen caps of the episode including an aerial view of the coffin, which looks relatively short.

So, my first educated guess as to the identification of the dead person (thanks to my B.F.F. Allison) is Michael. Remember him? He’s Walt’s father, who worked with the Others in order to get his son back and get off the island. We haven’t seen or heard from him since he and Walt set sail all those episodes ago. Well, Jack wasn’t too happy with the way Michael suckered him into being held captive by the Others, which could explain Jack saying that the person was neither friend nor relative. Screen cap technology also shows us that the obituary that Jack has may read “New York”, and Michael is the only character thus far from the Big Apple. But, this doesn’t explain Jack’s emotions at the funeral and it doesn’t explain the size of the coffin.

But Walt does. Which leads me to my next guess: Maybe Walt is in the coffin. It would explain the size of the coffin, and maybe even why Jack is so upset (after all, Walt was pretty well-liked). However, Walt was a child, and I don’t think a funeral for a child would ever go unattended.

So, maybe it’s Claire. After all, the writers introduced a little plotline that told us Claire and Jack have the same father. That plotline hasn’t been mentioned since. Still, it doesn’t fill in all of the blanks. Jack would be upset if Claire died, regardless of whether or not he knew Claire was his half-sister, but he also would probably tell the funeral director that she was family. Or does he have something to hide in regards to his status as a survivor? The plot thickens.

Finally and perhaps most importantly, something very interesting has been brought to my attention. When stupid Hurley gets arrested, he shouts that he is one of the “Oceanic Six”. Presumably, this means six of our protagonists found a way off the island. The way he says it would also lead one to believe that the “Oceanic Six” have some sort of newfound celebrity status. So, if the “Oceanic Six” are weirdly famous, it is safe to say that it is not one of them in the coffin because people would show up at a celebrity’s funeral. Now if we only knew for sure who the “Oceanic Six” are.

So who is in the coffin? It could be a survivor, it could be an acquaintance of Jack’s, it could be someone we haven’t even met yet. Chew on my theories for awhile, and rest assured that every week I’ll be watching “Lost” and taking notes.